i ran.
i'm 19, but i'm still doing adolescent things. the sad part was, i didn't grab my keys, cellphone, or wallet. i didn't know what to do. i walked around the neighborhood thinking about what i would do, and i ended up walking to my friend's house hoping she was at home. thank GOD she was. i stayed with her for the entire day, and then i decided to go home at midnight, because i knew we had a spare key.
the next day was a weird day at home. everyone was acting like nothing happened, my mom was being mean, but not hostile, but i kept my distance. i didn't speak to her, or to anyone but my little sister. the weird thing was that it was my cousin's bone marrow drive, so basically, i had to spend then ENTIRE DAY with FAMILY. i wasn't in the mood to be near family.
later in the day, i called my 10 year old cousin an asshole. that's how mad i was.
i was a loaded gun. if someone pushed my buttons, i went off on them, and sadly it was my 10 year old cousin that pissed me off, so i started scolding him and i called him an asshole. if you knew what he said to me, you would be mad too.
he had NO IDEA what i was going through. how much shit i had to deal with. i accepted his apology later, and i apologized to him for yelling at him (i was yelling at him like a mom would yell at her kid) now we're okay, but i bet he's scared of me now. =/
it's hard right now. school is pretty chill. friends are amazing. making a video is getting harder and harder. one day soon i'll be pumping out videos. one after the other. haha that would get annoying!
in HAPPIER NEWS, i got an ukulele! FINALLY. happy happy joy joy.
4 comments:
:(
sorry to hear that you're going through some tough times. but i know you're strong enough.
keep finding things that make you happy; like your new uke! or playing some yiruma on the piano.
i dont like to see natalie sad :'(
if you totally lived near me, i would totally buy you icecream and nutella.
i hope all is well and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
lava you girl. and if you just want to chat, you know where to find me :)
Wow Natalie, i had no idea that things were this way for you. Well, it's a good thing I found your blog. Hope to hear from you soon via any of my contact infos, or maybe i'll take initiative and find out how to contact you :)
In all honesty, you're 19. If you don't like the way your parents treat you then move out. "Running away" is for bratty 13 year olds. Find a job that will allow you to pay your rent, tuition and personal needs. That way you don't need to worry about 1. getting the shit kicked out of you, 2. being kicked out.
At 19 you do not need to be dependent on your parents. Maybe once you become independent member of society your parents will start treating you with respect.
Having said that, I enjoyed your YouTube videos and that is how I stumbled on your blog.
i love you and hope everything is better(er)
*hugs
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