aloha, my name is natalie.

checked out Brittany @Glee

2010-04-16T01:27:00.000-10:00

#beatcancer LET'S DO IT.

2009-10-17T08:47:00.007-10:00

Using Social Media to Beat Cancer – #beatcancer

According to twitter, and and beatcancer.org, "For each mention of the hashtag, eBay/PayPal and MillerCoors will donate one cent to breast cancer research. People can tweet it, add it to their Facebook status, or blog about it . . . it all counts. And it would seem that thousands of people are more than willing to be part of this impressive, hopefully record breaking social media blast!"

#beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer #beatcancer

COME ON PEOPLE, you can all do it too. Retweet, update your fb status, and BLOG!

twitter trends make me laugh.

2009-09-14T17:32:00.006-10:00

"YO PATRICK SWAYZE I KNOW YOU JUST DIED & ALL & IMMA LET U FINISH, BUT MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH WAS THE BEST ONE THIS YEAR!" - Kanye West

People are so clever. But yeah, if you're confused, the "YO PATRICK SWAYZE I" trend was a joke based on the stint that Kanye played on Taylor Swift at the VMAs when he took the microphone away from her during her acceptance speech for "Best Female Video." What he did was inappropriate, and overall rude, and it pissed me off. I wouldn't be surprised if he really did say this about Patrick Swayze.

#lilmamais was a trend yesterday and I loved reading what everyone was saying about her. "She be T-Paining!" HAHA. oh gosh. I really didn't watch the VMA's but twitter kept me in check with what was going on.

OHH, and this video made me laugh. Kanye is just interrupting everyone now, isn't he!?

Also, RIP Patrick Swayze. Dead at 57. He was honestly one of my favorite actors. Ghost and The Outsiders are movies that I will never get sick of. I will miss him. My prayers go out to his family, I know how hard it is to lose someone to cancer. You know, they give Pancreatic Cancer patients 6 months to live. My grandma battled it for a year, and Patrick battled for even longer. They gotta change numbers in the books!

don't depend on your GPS.

2009-07-27T15:33:00.008-10:00

My parents took me with them on this East Coast trip mainly because I asked them if I could go to California ON MY OWN because I had planned to go to FAP (Featured Acoustic Playlist) many months ago. However, my mom refused and basically tried to make me feel better by buying me a ticket to go with her, my dad, and little sister to Baltimore for THEIR conference.

Yeah, I was really mad. I won't even start. I thought my summer was ruined, but whatever, I just tried to make the best out of it. Don't get me wrong, I love traveling with my family, but this was the summer before I start Nursing School and I wanted to do something ON MY OWN for once, while I still can. But that crashed and burned.

My dad ticked me off ALOT during this trip. Once again, I won't even start. But on the positive side, I had some fun. My sister lost her camera though, and lost a bunch of pictures that I liked, but I'm slowly getting over it. Ok oops, on the positive side, I DID HAVE SOME FUN.

Hopefully once I turn 21, they will loosen up.

Lincoln Memorial! Good thing I took MY camera to DC. I went on a tour with my sister. It was fun. Except, she was being a butt because she wasn't as appreciative as I was.

New York City sunset. The drive to New York was a nightmare. Mostly because my Dad has a short temper and every little mistake we made, he got mad. GRR!

RIP Michael Jackson.

2009-06-25T23:54:00.003-10:00

So, I received a text from my little cousin today that Michael Jackson passed away and at first I thought he was just joking because all the text said was "Michael Jackson dead." Never in a million years would I have thought it would happen so soon.

I grew up listening to Michael Jackson because when I was younger, I spent a great deal of my time watching music videos on MTV or Vh1. That was my absolute most favorite thing to do. I would also spend time popping in different cassette tapes into the player, or try to get my Dad's old records to work.

MUSIC was my life. Still is my life. I would go home from school, and watch music videos. I could remember watching the music video for "Thriller" so vividly and I absolutely loved it. Also the video for "Remember the Time" with Eddie Murphy and Iman, that was one of my favorites as well. In 2002, when I saw that music video for "You Rock my World" with Chris Tucker and Usher, I felt that was his comeback and I loved him more than ever.

I can't name them all but thinking about it makes me tear because these are memories of my childhood. I loved Michael, he was amazing. I honestly had a big crush on him.

All those movies and interviews portraying him as a pedophile just kills me. I watched them all but I never once believed he would do such a thing and it hurts to know that he passed away without cleaning his slate. I was at my friend Resa's house earlier and she told me that Michael did not get a chance to experience his childhood to the fullest because his life was wrapped around fame and getting to the top. Now at his age, he was just trying to get a part of his life that was taken away from him.

There were times when I did say mean things. I thought he was going crazy. I thought he made mistakes. From the dangling of his baby off the building, to the way he handled some of the situations he was put in. I think I gave up on Michael. I never thought of him for months until a couple days ago when David Choi made a cover of his song, Ben. Now today, he's gone, and he's all I could think about.

Reminds me of when Pope John Paul passed away. I couldn't stop thinking of him. Wishing that I had seen him or met him, before he left. Same with Michael. Now, I won't have that opportunity. This is really teaching me a lesson about life and death. We cannot wait for people to die to appreciate them for what they accomplished on earth or to express your love for them. That's taking them for granted and I do that all the time, I admit it. My pride and selfishness gets in the way of my true feelings sometimes. It's all a process of getting older and I am slowly learning to get the fuck over it.

On the way home in Resa's car, it was MJ on the radio and I told her to change the station because it made me sad. Next station, MJ.

RIP Michael, you made a big impact on my life and I can't thank you enough.

conversations with parents: Dad

2009-06-18T16:03:00.005-10:00

I decided to write this because I realized how hard it is to talk to my dad because I can't really get a straight answer from him because either he's not listening to me, he can't hear me, or he misunderstands me, or it turns into an argument.

My dad is not the one to keep a conversation going because he seems to be busy doing whatever, and I'm fine with it, unless I have a question to ask him...

Me: Dad, who sings "Total Eclipse of the Heart?"
Dad: *no answer*
Me: Uh, Dad, hello?
Dad: Ano? (what)
Me: Who sings "Total Eclipse of the Heart?" (then I start singing "Turn around, every now and then...")
Dad: *starts singing to himself*

*long pause*

Me: UH, okay?
Dad: You know...that girl.

Me: WHAT GIRL?
Dad: Uh, what's her name again?
Me: I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.
Dad: That white girl!
Me: Oh my gosh. What white girl?

Dad: I don't know, I forgot.

THE END.

and i thought my life was hard.

2009-05-26T12:05:00.004-10:00

Cancer is not prominent in my family history. My family is mostly associated with high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke. Those are all bad too, but when you think about it, Cancer is what people in this world fear the most.

I just lost my grandmother to Pancreatic Cancer, after more than a year long fight. When it came down to the wire, I couldn't bear to see her in pain. It's heartbreaking. It's the first time I had to deal with a death of someone close to me.

However, when I was in fifth grade, my aunt also passed away due to a type of Cancer. I was in 5th grade at the time. I didn't know much about anything because I was young. I didn't know how much Cancer could affect the people around you.

Now my cousin, Sarah Ruiz. 18 years old. She was diagnosed 2 years ago, a couple days before my high school graduation. Leukemia. She has been fighting so hard for 2 years. After the first year of chemotherapy, we thought she was cured, but sadly it came back. After another long year of fighting, with a half match bone marrow translant from her sister, we hoped and prayed it was gone for good.

Today, I received a text from her mother that the doctor found leukemia cells in her blood. It hurts me to believe that she has to go through another long chemotherapy treatment without knowing if there is going to be a successful outcome this time. When you have cancer, get rid of it, and then have it come back, it's MUCH harder to get rid of.

About a week ago, I was talking to Sarah about her graduation which is in a couple days. Out of nowhere, she actually APOLOGIZED to me for not being there at my graduation, and for taking the attention away from me. I told her that I don't deserve an apology. It is not HER FAULT that she was diagnosed with Cancer. She is such a good kid. She doesn't deserve this pain. But, all we could do is pray, and hope for another recovery.

God, please watch over my cousin Sarah and all those whose lives are affected my Cancer.

This year will be my 5th year participating in Relay for Life. Please join if you can.

Relay For Life of Magic Island takes place from 7:00 p.m. on Saturday, July 11, 2009 until 7:00 a.m. on July 12, 2009

Acceptance.

2009-04-29T19:53:00.000-10:00

I made this video a long time ago, but I'm having difficulty deciding whether I want to continue posting vlogs/comedy videos on my channel because of the fact that many of my new viewers like my music side. But, when I started on YouTube, I made vlogs, so I'm in a dilemma. Anyway, this video is just little update on what was going on in my life, but you can watch it to understand how I felt at the time.

Pre-Acceptance

So I know alot of people have the idea that I don't want to be a nurse, because I was basically forced into it. Also, I always complain about my classes, and how I hate that my parents are controlling my life. But, I still continue pursuing it because I know I can.

Post-Acceptance

If I didn't get accepted, everything would go wrong. I would have to retake a lot of classes, apply to other schools, try to get scholarships, take other Nursing exams that cost a lot of money, and I would be put farther on the list because priority is given to first time applicants. Also, my parents would still be on my back, and they would use it against me.

My main motivation was the fact that I didn't want any of that to happen.

Being accepted into the program feels like I got a ticket to a new chapter in my adult life. I feel carefree, and overwhelmed. There were over 200 applicants, but still I made it. I feel like my parents can get off my back, and finally understand that I am a hard worker, and that I deserve to be treated like an adult.

The only this is, I spent my entire life trying to please my parents, living in fear that I would get a bad grade and be punished. Now, I want to stop living in fear. Starting now, if I want good grades, I want it because I want to succeed in school, not just to please my parents. I need to focus on me now.

UH Manoa Nursing School, here I come.

No, your comment is STUPID.

2009-04-28T14:10:00.008-10:00

I was watching Justin Nozuka's After Tonight video on YouTube and I decided to scroll down again and read comments. I am always reading other people's comments on other people's videos. I don't know why I keep doing that! xxemolove12598, why so ignorant? Please. Gosh.

Schmiddst9r (1 hour ago)

Reply | Spam

Sehr sehr cooler Track!

babyyoyoboy (2 hours ago)

Reply | Spam

no dude, you thinking other languages being stupid is what is really stupid

like what kstar121 said, not everyone knows english, there's tons of other languages out there

bakit ba marami na mga bastos dito sa youtube?

xxxsejikunxxx (2 hours ago)

Reply | Spam

muy guapo!!!!!!

kstar121 (2 hours ago)

Reply | Spam

well not everyone knows English. D=
That's insensitive.

xxemolove12598xx (2 hours ago) Hide

-1

Reply | Spam

stop posting comments in dif languages it's confusing and stupid

newdass01 (3 hours ago)

Reply | Spam

Hab es gerade im Radio gehört, einfach super. Mal wieder was neues!

FelicitySchickfick (3 hours ago)

Reply | Spam

Das ist sooooooo geil!!!!!!

positiion55 (3 hours ago)

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Pourquoi il a les chvx courts la ?

you bastard its just itchy!!!

2009-04-27T21:58:00.005-10:00

I'm gonna blog about something HUGE that happened to me recently, but tonight I'm just gonna share a little something that made me laugh tonight.

Ok, so I didn't really find this funny, because I knew he was just scratching and it made him look like he was dancing. But of course, I wasn't the only one who thought so...

16ZannaRox16 (3 days ago):

You bastard its just itchy!!!

haha, the comment just made me lol. it's late and i'm delirious so forgive me.

rant on hair, sort of.

2009-04-16T10:15:00.007-10:00

I need to blog to get my mind off things. This is gonna be the stupidest thing to blog about but, I need to stop thinking about what happened on Monday. When I don't think about it, I'm good.

But anyway, you know on Top Model (America's Next Top Model) they give the girls haircuts and a lot of them start crying because they are all like "OH NO MY HAIR!" or "I LOOK LIKE A BOY!" or "I HATE THIS!" and I'm always like, "Will you SHUT UP?"

Early 2008: Airport. Who's ipod is that? Not cool.

I feel like that mostly because...a professional is doing their hair, they should be grateful! and I get $20 dollar haircuts so come on! (Well, one time I got a $100 + haircut, but that included highlights, and it was a birthday gift from my cousin)

IT PISSES ME OFF. Sometimes I just want to shave it off. I wish I was boy so I don't have to care about my hair. (HAHA, oops just kidding boys!) Now I'm acting like one of those Top Model girls because I'm making such a big deal about it. It just sucks to have to spend so much time styling it/straightening it for a video, for a party, for school, for everything. I wish I didn't have to care.

But really, I wish that I didn't have to worry about my hair as much as I do. I actually don't understand why I worry about it so much.

You are your own worst critic, that's why.

(i'm not gonna allow comments, this one is so dumb LOL-ing)

now she's finally free.

2009-04-13T23:04:00.005-10:00

NOTE: Sorry ya'll, this is another personal one. You don't have to read. =]

Ok, so I've pretty much informed a lot of you that I've been going through a really tough time lately. However, It wasn't only because I was struggling with my own problems like my classes, and the nursing program, it was also because I was struggling with family.

My grandmother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer last year and it's been really tough. She lives with us, and has been living with us since I was little because my parents were never home so she was like our permanent babysitter.

These past months were very difficult for all of us. Words cannot explain.

Today, April 13, 2009, she passed. I've been trying to prepare myself for this day because its the first death in my (really close) family that I'm having to deal with. But, I know that she has been suffering these past few months, so I knew that when she would go, she would be free. That's what I wanted most. I wanted her to be free, because I knew she was suffering, and we were all suffering with her.

Nessa's Confirmation - May 2008

She was always a strong woman, very spiritual, very funny, very helpful. I'm trying hard not to think about this, but I do regret not spending the day with her today. This is what made me very emotional because I felt like I chose the wrong day to be selfish [I wanted to make a video today, because I miss making videos] I wish I was there for her, but I was glad to be there when she took her last breaths, to say goodbye to her, to pray for her, and tell her how much I love her.

Now she's finally free, and I think that things can only get better from here. Thank you Tita Idang, I appreciate everything you have done for me. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Ok, we're all going to do the rosary again, so I guess I'll end here. Thanks everyone for being patient and for understanding.

This is life. =]

LAST MEMORY: I was helping her into her bed, telling her that her feet look like they are getting better. I also told her that if she needs me that she could just call me. She was always so grateful that we helped her out during this tough time.

VIVID MEMORY: I can still remember that day when we went to the beach when the waves were very strong. I tried to go into the water, but the waves took me in, and I tried to crawl back but the barrels caught me. I can still remember her yelling for me, trying to help me back because the waves were pulling me away. She was always there.

Animal Crossing = BORING ADDICTION

2009-04-09T21:52:00.009-10:00

If you saw a couple of my twitter updates, then you would know that I am addicted to Animal Crossing. I would play for long hours and I haven't been addicted to a game since Pokemon.

ANYWAY, the BAD part is, my 11 year old cousin pretty much ruined the game for me. If you play the game, you know it's about working to pay off your mortgage for your house, and interacting with your neighbors, beautifying your town, catching bugs, and stuff.

However, my cousin basically gave me all his "BELLS" which is the "MONEY" in this game, and I don't have ANYTHING to do anymore because I payed off ALL my mortgage and everything. I thought it was a good idea at first, but now I don't even need to work for money because I have at least a couple million bells in my account. AND my house is ugly because I can't buy much furniture.

(WOW...this is starting to sound LAME...)

PLEASE...visit my town, or let me visit yours. I am SO BORED.

DS Code: 519882765037

Replies to comments from previous blog:

Ralphie: That's why I hate enabling ads on my videos because of the way that Google Ads work, if we talk about something Filipino related, those types of Ads are likely to show.

Neil: Yes, you're horrible. JK. Oh and you know what I also hate? When the camera man points out to the random old guys in the crowd when the girls dance. It's so rude!

Marc: Thanks for sharing, that is hilarious! that seems like something I would do. =X

TFC gets on my nerves, sometimes.

2009-03-29T23:12:00.002-10:00

OK, so I watch The Filipino Channel (TFC) from time to time because my grandma and my dad like to watch it. Most of the time they watch Wowowee and Game KNB. I like watching because it's pretty funny at times, and because it's nice to know that I understand another language other than English.

If you watch these shows, you probably notice that the fricken camera man always points out a white foreigner, or a very pretty lady in the crowd. Most of the time, they pick at least one white guy to play on stage on Wowowee. THEN, they start to ask him such personal questions. The questions always revolve around "So, what are you doing here in the Philippines." Then, the man might answer by saying that he's with his Filipino wife on vacation. Once, I actually heard Willie reply back saying something like "Oh yes, because Filipino women are the best women."

How dare he say that.

Well, I was watching Game KNB the other day, and it's another game show like Wowowee. There was one white guy in the crowd, and like always, the camera man pointed the camera toward his direction. Then, the host Edu Manzano, actually spoke to the man in front of everyone. He said "So, what are you doing here in the Philppines." The white man said, "I'm visiting family." Apparently, Edu didn't hear the man correctly and he said, "Oh, you're looking for a family?"

Then, the white man corrected him.

How dare he say that!

It's like, when a white man is in the Philippines, people automatically assume they are looking for a wife! It's embarrassing. It's not right! I really think these women all over the world should not be looking for a man to petition them out of their home country. These websites promoting mail order brides, are just...NOT RIGHT. For some reason, it seems that so many people support this way of life because these game shows exploit this fact in so many ways, directly and indirectly. I know that the lifestyle in third world countries is hard, but I think there are so many other ways to solve your problems.

aw I LOVE YOU GUYS. srsly.

2009-03-22T16:01:00.004-10:00

first of all, sorry for not updating often! <3 i will try to change that.

secondly, OMG, i haven't read my comments on my last few blogs until now! sorry guys, but wow, i really appreciate you guys for reading. it's so hilarious that you guys read this!

about my crush, i was AVOIDING reading the comments, because i was scared you guys would tell me that i'm stupid! but i'm not telling anyone who it is! yeah, Garbo and Simon, you're all just gonna have to guess. But yeah, I'm pretty much over it because I mean come on...It's YOUTUBE! But hey, a girl can dream right?!

anyway, i'm still going through a really tough time right now, but I would really appreciate prayers, because i'm kinda hanging by a thread. that's how bad things are. but i plan to make a video soon, but it won't be all emo, i promise!

love ya'll, and thanks so much. =]

a rant on christmas.

2008-12-24T23:15:00.004-10:00

WARNING: don't read, it's long. you'll just get emo.

so it's about an hour til Christmas, and things have gotten worse.

here's the story: so my family just left to go to church, and i decided not to go because of personal reasons. my dad comes down as asks me why I'm not going and i told him 'because i don't want to.' and he starts asking again, and I'm all like what the heck, what more do i have to say? so i told him that 'its hypocritical for me to go to church.' then he continues saying i shouldn't be philosophical with him, and starts using stupid examples THAT DON'T RELATE to our conversation whatsoever! he says like 'you're on the computer all day, and when i ask you to do a favor, you're always mad' and i tell him 'you don't make any sense, how does this relate to me not going to church? i don't like going to church anymore, you can't force me.'

he even threatens to 'spank me' WTF? WHAT AM I, 10 years old?!

it really didn't make any sense, my dad was using youtube, me being on the computer for long hours, playing guitar, and everything that I LOVE TO do on my spare time, AGAINST ME. he was using it against me just because i didn't want to go to church?

WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO TO CHURCH after he would speak to me like that? and moreover, the bigger reasons why I didn't want to go to church was because my sister and my mom were going! I haven't spoken to my sister for over a year because of a grudge, and my mom pissed me off the other day! They have been bitches to me, why would i want to be in church with them! THAT'S WHY I SAID IT HYPOCRITICAL, that's why I didn't want to go!

I know some of you know, I'm very religious. I love God. SO MUCH. I'm the most Holy person in this family, besides my grandaunt who lives with us. But, I've been sooo far away from him for many months now, and I'm gonna go back to church, when I'M READY, not when my dad talks like a bastard to me ON CHRISTMAS. oh gosh, it's Christmas and my family are being fucks.

I'm almost 20. why do they treat me like this? why do they use the fact that i don't have a job against me? why don't they understand that I'm trying so hard to please them? why aren't they happy that i got ALL A's in all my classes this semester while attending three different colleges? (ME BEING A FULL TIME STUDENT at 3 different campuses, should be equivalent to being a student with a job!) WHY? why can't they just understand that i love the computer, my guitar, my piano, and i want to be able to do that stuff whenever i get the chance? WHY NOT?! they don't understand me!

...so I'm trying to catch up on blog reading as well. i just read Simon's blog about how 'Christmas is supposed to bring people closer together' but it's just weird because its doing the exact opposite this year.

Merry Christmas everyone, hope you're doing better than i am.

Happy almost Birthday to me, i don't understand why these things happen at the most joyous time of year.

i've got a crush.

2008-12-04T20:57:00.003-10:00

i can't believe i'm saying this on here. yeah, it's someone from youtube, yeah.

i can't get over it, but i must! HELP! it's like, really bothering me. enough to make me blog about it.

ok keeping this short and simple. i feel like i'm in 5th grade again. but this time, nobody knows and he doesn't know. gosh i hope he doesn't.

haha, i'm sure i'm not the only one that has crushes on someone from the internetz. PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND so i don't feel all alone.

shit, FOCUS ON YOUR FINALS NATALIE, FOCUS.

TIM TAMS for the effing WIN!

2008-11-30T11:50:00.008-10:00

I went shopping on Friday and Saturday and bought a bunch of clothes. Not to mention, TIM TAMS! I want to thank Buena (thebuenster) on YouTube for telling me where to get them! I love the people on youtube who tell me where I could find things. I'm so hopeless!

I was in disbelief but it was true and you have no idea how happy I was! My camera is so stupid though, I thought I was recording my experience of finding the tim tams at the store, but it wasn't freaking recording! Damn it!

A shelf full of amazing-ness. $3.50 each. Is that expensive? Simon? Haha! and THANK YOU Simon (ddonq) for sending me my first package of tim tams many months ago. I don't know how long they will be selling those, but I swear, I never saw them there before.

HAVE THEY BEEN WATCHING MY VIDEOS of me complaining about there being NO tim tams in Hawaii?! haha. Who knows? Haha, this is like an "asian store" though. I call it an "asian store" because they sell...asian food. But, they also sell nutella. YAY for gourmet, foreign, foods that I discovered through Johnee (johneepixels7)...sold at asian supermarkets!

WOW A BLOG

2008-11-24T19:27:00.002-10:00

i haven't written something in 2 months! dang! i haven't actually been on this till now and i realized that i've been missing this. the semester is almost over. it's been a new experience, and it's going really well, but i can't wait for it to be over!

i don't know how well youtube is going for me because i don't get to talk to everyone as often as i used to but i don't have the feeling that i'm falling off the train, which is good. i think. i remember johnee called it having "two lives" a online life, and a real life.

i'm trying to focus on real life right now but sometimes i wish online life was the same as real life BECAUSE there are so many misunderstanding when it comes to the INTERWEBS. UGH. people are often misunderstood. and generally because it's kinda hard handling "two lives."

ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE, next semester i'll be traveling a lot!!! hopefully i'll be able to meet some youtube family for the first time. really looking forward to that.

ALSO, November marks my 1st year anniversary of posting videos on YouTube. Yay! hopefully more to come.

getting kicked out of the house.

2008-09-08T20:48:00.004-10:00

title says it all. i was kicked out of the house. i take it as me "running away" because it was basically self defense. would you rather get the shit kicked out of you by your parent? or would you run?

i ran.

i'm 19, but i'm still doing adolescent things. the sad part was, i didn't grab my keys, cellphone, or wallet. i didn't know what to do. i walked around the neighborhood thinking about what i would do, and i ended up walking to my friend's house hoping she was at home. thank GOD she was. i stayed with her for the entire day, and then i decided to go home at midnight, because i knew we had a spare key.

the next day was a weird day at home. everyone was acting like nothing happened, my mom was being mean, but not hostile, but i kept my distance. i didn't speak to her, or to anyone but my little sister. the weird thing was that it was my cousin's bone marrow drive, so basically, i had to spend then ENTIRE DAY with FAMILY. i wasn't in the mood to be near family.

later in the day, i called my 10 year old cousin an asshole. that's how mad i was.

i was a loaded gun. if someone pushed my buttons, i went off on them, and sadly it was my 10 year old cousin that pissed me off, so i started scolding him and i called him an asshole. if you knew what he said to me, you would be mad too.

he had NO IDEA what i was going through. how much shit i had to deal with. i accepted his apology later, and i apologized to him for yelling at him (i was yelling at him like a mom would yell at her kid) now we're okay, but i bet he's scared of me now. =/

it's hard right now. school is pretty chill. friends are amazing. making a video is getting harder and harder. one day soon i'll be pumping out videos. one after the other. haha that would get annoying!

in HAPPIER NEWS, i got an ukulele! FINALLY. happy happy joy joy.

girls love their gays.

2008-08-25T23:02:00.007-10:00

I swear, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

Okay, I know many Gay men are good looking, but is it just a coincidence that the guys that I think are good looking, are Gay?

I've had this conversation with two of my best friends on several occasions, one who is openly gay, and the other who is not quite out of the closet. The funny thing was that they were not always gay, I hope that I didn't turn them gay.

Basically, I tell them whenever I have a crush on someone, or when I think a guy is cute. EVENTUALLY, I end up telling them the guy is gay and that I had no idea! Even though I have so many gay friends, I have terrible gaydar!

Once I told Keali'i, "You know, If I keep this up, I am never getting married!"

Why did I bring this up? Well, a couple of days ago, I tweeted the following statement on twitter "That aussie diver is really good looking."

Today, I watched WHATTHEBUCKSHOW's video, and he explained that Matthew Mitcham, the Australian diver who won the Gold, was the only openly gay man at the Olympics! The one guy, that I thought was so good looking, is gay. Michael Phelps isn't gay though, I love him.

I'm sorry, I guess I am just attracted to Gay people! Haha, BUCK is gay, but he's married, I love him though! In a different way!

weblogging was my first love.

2008-08-22T10:04:00.003-10:00

It all began on xanga. in 8th grade, Ashley Ho asked me "do you have a xanga?" i replied "no, what's that" so i decided to make one. then the obsession with the internet began. Exact date that it all started was September 7, 2002 as PiNaYcHyKa8o8. Then on December 11, 2002, I became wUn_loVaBle_pNai.

Then when I found myspace, I became, natztheflip. YUP, not NaTzthEfLip. simply, natztheflip. BUT ANYWAY, that was just background knowledge of my dumb usernames.

Blogging was a way for me to express my thoughts, and to get feedback from my friends. It was honest and true. Here is a post on my wUn_loVaBle_pNai xanga, that I really love.

----------------------

Saturday, April 24, 2004

May it be a sweet, sweet sound, in your ear.

I made my last entry private because I don't want to be responsible for having my depression rub off on others. I just want everyone else to be happy. If only I could ban hate.
Let's just wait...things will get better. I just pray that May will be a good month. Let's just hope...that what they say is true...the flowers bloom in May and I hope my life does too.

...READ THIS.
I had a dream...that someone that I truly admire gave me their picture and on the back it was written with pure love: "Nat, you see...you are special." We sat in a room and I was so touched that I was confused. I didn't expect it to say that. I believe all I did was sit there...staring at him... but deep down...I just wanted jump up to give this person a big hug before he left. I wanted to whisper in his ear a million "Thank you's." Next thing I know...I woke up...without even having the chance.

You know, my whole life I've been letting my hopes and dreams fly past me. I never felt the strength to stand up. I just end up regretting everything. I regret not giving him a hug and saying thank you because that's all he ever wanted me to do. I need to push my fears away...I need to start living it up. I finally know what my weakness is. I need to make my move because it is my turn. More than anything, I need my faith. That is where my strength is.
I believe it's time. God, please guide me. I need you again.

10:35 AM - 34 eprops - 17 comments - email it

---------------------
Why am I talking about this? Well, I was on Stephen's (steveninbay) xanga, and then I decided to go back and read old entries for fun, and I've forgotton how deep I used to be. How honest I would be when I made a blog. I wasn't afraid to tell others how I felt and everything. I was reminded of this after doing some reading. It made me miss my old friends as well because of the pictures I saw, and because I wrote about them a lot.

the hair. the conversation. the readers.

2008-08-21T15:17:00.005-10:00

being that its the last week before school, i've been at home trying to film some videos, that i may or may not post. editing is such a bitch. but i'm still posting like foreal! YouTube is my thang!

anyway, my hair's getting pretty long and i brought this up before but should i cut it? alot of my friends say that i should, but i don't know, i don't think i'll like it short, and it took a long time for it to get this long. my viewers on YouTube are half and half, some say I should, some say no. personally, i like my hair, but i like change, and i hate having such a hard time combing my hair! OMG i hate that i was gonna make a video about this, and instead i'm writing about it instead. oh well!

Well, today I went on AIM for the first time in ages. I chatted with Kits and I swear, we had the most honest and hilarious conversation, and he was at work but I'm sure he was laughing like crazy. I sure was! We got something off our chests and I'm so relieved now. Freaking awesome.

Well thank you to Simon, Kits, and Russell because I know you guys read this. I swear Simon, you and me, we're related (and my package will be better than Mike's, i'm telling you now). Kits, we have the best chats and talks. Russell, I miss you like hell damnit. Thank you guys for being supportive and everything.

Here's a poll, I want to know what you all think?!?! SHOULD I?!?! I can't make up my mind.

olympics = television > youtube

2008-08-20T07:41:00.010-10:00

blogging is much easier than v-logging i can tell ya that. i love you youtube, please forgive me.

Well i've been watching the olympics, like everyday since it started. pretty much addicted to Michael Phelps, and i've been jumping up and down when USA comes so close to winning. it's amazing, i love it. Did everyone catch that first 4X100 Freestyle relay? BECAUSE if you didn't you seriously missed out on one intense competition where we won by...i don't know 100th of a sec? More or less? I'm so proud of our olympians. We have amazing runners, but I can just see that other countries have been doing some serious training. That Usain Bolt guy from Jamaica? Oh man, this guy already knows he's gonna win because he starts to get cocky before he passes the finish line. Don't get me wrong, he's amazing, I bet he could of pulled off a faster time if he didn't start showing off. But, he still beat the world record. The Jamaicans are amazing, and young too. They will go a long way.

Well enough about Jamaica! GO TEAM USA! Gymnastics is a big thing too. Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson are just great. There is some controversy because I think they have been doing so well, but I don't think they are getting the medals that they deserve! WTF judges?! GET WITH IT! Sorry, I'm just proud to be an American. *starts singing*

a little more personal.

2008-08-19T00:40:00.007-10:00

well, let's see. I start my second year of college in a week. the one thing that i'm looking forward to is that three of my close friends from high school will be attending the same college (one of them) as i am this semester! its a strange coincidence, and things will feel like high school all over again (ugh, that's the scary part) so basically, some of my group will be back together. (a picture from valentines day 2007, yeah we're all filipino)

on the other hand, lots of things are happening, and i'm not sure if i'm ready to share it with others even though all my close friends already know. well, some of you may know i'm all for cancer research, i've been participating in relays and races that collect donations for cancer research for many years. but who ever thought, that cancer would happen to me? not necessarily me, but to my family?

i won't get into more details (maybe later), but this isn't easy. it's confusing actually. after all i've done, this is what happens? but these kinds of things are inevitable. it's hard to accept, and a few months ago i couldn't help but burst out into tears at random hours of the day because it's all i ever thought about. and just when i thought things were getting better, people start to get sick again, people start breaking bones, people are in pain, and then i start to suffer because i feel it too. they're both at the hospital right now, i wonder what's going on in their minds, i hope they know that i'm always thinking about them, always praying, always hoping that they are feeling okay, and that i'm trying to stay positive, and strong for them because they need to know that we're here. I'm here.

sxephil, he's not sexy. but really, he is.

2008-08-18T23:08:00.006-10:00

So, i'm pretty much obsessed with watching videos rather than making videos, which is getting really really bad. you see, this is how it used to be. i always used to watch videos, instead of making them, ALL THE TIME.

the thing about sxephil, is that i used to get so excited when he put up a new video. When i first started getting into youtube, the two people that I really started to enjoy (after HappySlip and Kev) were sxephil and WHATTHEBUCKSHOW because they updated ALL THE TIME.

Philip grew on me, because I thought he was really good looking, intellectual, informative and smart, but he offended me ALL THE TIME! I know a lot of it is comedic, satiric and such, but when someone offends me, or says something i don't necessarily agree with in a video, i automatically unsubscribe. But it was so hard to do that because I really liked his videos! So basically, I would unsub, and then later sub again because I couldn't get enough of his awesome bullshit.

but a few months ago, I told myself to officially unsub because I'm a sensitive loser (wow wtf this is youtube)

But recently, I keep finding myself going back to watch his channel (even though I'm not subscribed) just because I really enjoy then. UGH what the hell. If he would ever to stumble upon this, I know he would say something like "wow, if you like my videos, then just effing subscribe, don't make a big deal about it! kthx!"

I even go to his website occasionally. What can I say, the man is entertaining. I like him alot, and enough to notice that he's putting on some weight. Still awesome though.

IT'S SUMMER BABYYYY.

2008-07-07T13:24:00.005-10:00

SUMMER IS HALFWAY OVER!!!!!!!

I finished my first session of Summer School, and I just started my second session today. I also got a phone call that there was a time change for one of the courses I'll be taking in fall, which sucks because it's later, and this is at the campus that is far from my house. UGH. too late to drop it, I need that class.

ANYWAY, it's super hot. I don't like being at home because my house is so hot! MEANING, it's hard to even vlog or make a video because the heat irritates me, and makes me lose motivation and interest to do anything.

HEAT= laziness. LET'S GO TO THE BEACHHH!!!!!

p.s. I love stalking thewinekone's comment replies. The man is amazing.

long time no update, eh?

2008-06-09T12:10:00.000-10:00

haha, i've come back to youtube after a "month [without notice] hiatus" blah blah blah, i'm starting to realize that i need to pay attention to real life a little more than i pay attention to internet if i'm gonna succeed in school.

i'm cooling down now, i was so pissed when i wrote my last blog. so pissed. but i'm much better now. summer school is not bad at all. i'm taking statistics. (I got an A on my first test babyy!!)
and then i'll be taking microbiology lecture for the second summer session. so it's really not that bad.

things are actually really good at the moment, just gotta stay healthy and happy and i'll be good.

OO! Here's something fun, guess which one is me. I know, this is so random!

things are getting real

2008-05-17T02:44:00.000-10:00

wow so i know i don't want to bore people by making a video about this so i just thought i would write about it instead.

i'll start off by saying, sorry for not posting a vid in 2 weeks. I really needed to focus on school, because of finals..

but yeah, i had an argument with both of my parents today. we were talking about classes, and school, and then they had the nerve to bring up youtube. i mean, this is getting really intense. at times, youtube DOES get in the way of school, but its something i really enjoy, and they don't respect that at all. it's all coming into perspective, it's THEIR way or the HIGHWAY (if you know what that means)

I SERIOUSLY can't pursue what i want, and my mother made that clear today when i told her i wanted to switch my major. they told me that if i switched majors, that they would cut me off, and basically i would have to get a job and support myself, and get out of the house which includes having my own insurance, which means WORKING full time, and then school. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE!? it's not possible.

I'm not in any position to start working, because I'm a dumbass that has never had a job before, but I guess I'll start looking because I'm tired of them breathing down my neck.

Basically, what I'm saying is, I'm gonna try to continue with youtube, I'm gonna try. This summer and fall semesters are going to be really difficult, I could sense it already.

Check this out, I'm taking 2 classes this summer, (1 during the first session, and another during the 2nd session)

and I'm going to be going to THREE campuses again in the fall. HOW FUCKING FUN. I'm miserable.

YOUTUBE PARTNERSHIP

2008-05-05T12:47:00.000-10:00

I'M A YOUTUBE PARTNER!

Well, that was the exciting email. HAHAHA. seriously. I was so happy. Thank you everyone for your continued support. I didn't think they would accept me, but the accepted me right away! It was crazy! P.S. I'm not enabling revenue for now, I don't want those ads that were showing up on HappySlip's page to show up on mine as well. Pray for me, finals are coming up like crazy!!!

Partnership started: May 3, 2008

very exciting email.

2008-05-02T21:08:00.000-10:00

UGHHH My first year in college is almost over! I want it to be over so bad! It's driving me crazy. But, yeah this summer, I'll probably do summer school, and take a class or something because I've had a summer class for the past 5 years. It'll be weird without one.

ANYWAY, I got an email today. (in the inbox that i hardly ever check) and it was soooo awesome. I refuse to tell anyone what it is. IT'S A SURPRISE!!!!!

lol. kayy bye.

fifty secrets.

2008-04-28T17:58:00.000-10:00

1. ran into a wall trying to hide from my mom.
2. cried so loud during a movie, that people started looking at me.
3. stood right next to Bill Wennington at McDonald's.
4. won 1st place at Hawaii HOSA conference, and 10th place nationwide
5. went to a Dashboard Confessional concert, and left drenched in other peoples sweat
6. claimed that Chris Carrabba made eye contact with me at that concert
7. memorized 100 digits of the e mathematical constant
8. played my first game of poker and won the game
9. stayed up all night playing the piano
10. had huge crushes on Joel from Good Charlotte and Brenden from Panic at the Disco
11. watched all of communitychannel's videos in one sitting
12. tried to find my middle school sweetheart
13. was given a 10 dollar bill signed by all my 7th grade classmates
14. never broke a bone
15. checked out guys at the gym with other guys (because a lot of my good friends are gay)
16. scraped both my knees tripping over a basketball
17. never drank or smoked
18. ran around in circles because a boy put a lizard on my back, and i was trying to get it off
19. laughed so hard that i pissed myself
20. went to beach bon fires to watch my friends get drunk and act like idiots
21. was told by a teacher that telling him to fuck himself would have been better than cheating in his class
22. played guitar hero for several hours straight
23. watched a lab partner experiment with my urine
24. started a filipino club at my high school
25. played the virgin mary in a chuch performance
26. waited 45 minutes to jump of the rocks at waimea beach
27. used to eat packets of ketchup by itself
28. participated in relay for life for 4 years, going on 5
29. watched hot fuzz over and over again
30. fed a flock of pidgeons in a park in london
31. performed hula for over 50 audiences
32. held a grudge for over 3 years
33. gave a graduation speech in front of 10.000 people
34. dyed my hair blonde, but didn't come out blonde
35. fell in love the with the characters harold and kumar, I LOVE JOHN CHO.
36. was proposed to in front of an entire class
37. was always the mother figure type of friend
38. was one of Hawaii's 25 most intriguing high school seniors
39. never had a job but i do a lot of community service
40. fell asleep in the boys hotel room at nationals
41. was mistaken for an employee at wal-mart when i was 9
42. had one of my pimples named by my sister's ex-boyfriend, named it mount Rushmore
43. covered up that pimple with a band aid
44. was asked why i had band aid, and i said i fell off a ladder in orchestra class
45. i've seen the pope
46. split hot on my thigh because of too many hand gestures
47. ditched class to study for another class
48. broke a string on my violin during a performance
49. put elbow in barbecue fire and burned myself with fireworks
50. was addicted to Total Request Live when I was 8
51. collected beanie babies like crazy when I was still living in Illinois
52. sang a song at my senior luau, while classmates stuffed money in my dress (not necessarily stuffed, but they were throwing it at me)

I didn't realize, but I have 52. Hahah. Oops.

Blah. Life. Ugh.

2008-04-24T20:01:00.000-10:00

It's my 2nd semester in college(s) now. Its plural because I'm going to TWO different colleges. It's better than last semester because I was at THREE colleges.

I'm really over it. I'm so exhausted. I just don't have the motivation this semester, and I've really been feeling down. Ugh. I really don't care anymore. So many feelings. Ugh.

Things are the same at home. I'm still not talking to my older sister. And don't tell me I shouldn't hold grudges, because I'm not going to listen. I'm stubborn and I have a lot of pride. I can't do those sorts of things. It's just not me. I can't forgive someone easily, and I can't say apologize easily. I blame my upbringing.I wish I could change it, because its the one thing about myself that I hate. I need a LOT of change in my life. The question is...WHEN? When will I change? Soon I hope. I'm really trying. I am.

I just made a video about nutella. Haha. It made me happy to talk about it. I just like talking about things that make me happy because it makes me forget about all my struggles. But really, I'm fine. I just have to get my head together with school. I'm slacking. UGH. YouTube.

Stay cool everyone,

Natz

EURO TRIP! Buahaha.

2008-04-02T07:55:00.001-10:00

My spring break vacation to Paris, France and Rome, Italy was nothing short of amazing. I've been to Europe twice in the past, and my experiences in Europe always change my perspective toward life because I learn so many new things, and I just become more open minded about this HUGE world. I went to London, England when I was 5, and then again six years ago before I met up with some family in Vienna, Austria.

One thing you'll learn about me is that I LOVE TO TRAVEL. My parents like saving money (SO FILIPINO RIGHT?) and basically, we save up to travel a lot.

I'm going to the Philippines this December and then again next year for a reunion. I'm really excited because I haven't been back for five years. I miss it. I want to see my family again.

I have SO MUCH catching up to do on youtube. I missss all you guys!

MUCHO LAVA,

Natalie

My Hair, and SALAMAT! (Thanks)

2008-03-14T16:46:00.000-10:00

Through all my video making, I've realized that my hair is getting really long! It's never been this long before, and you can ask anyone that knows me personally. I went through middle and high school with a pony tail (a bun, with a poof on the left side) meaning my hair was always, always up. I always dyed it too. Ugh, really ugly. I'll find a picture if I can. But hey, It's time for a change. But, I think it's time for another change, a dramatic change. I WANT TO CUT MY HAIR!

Look at how long my hair is now! and LOOK how weird my face is! This picture is a still from one of my reject videos. I kinda look like domukun, eh?

Kits (xcreativexsoulx) made this for me for my 19th birthday back in December! Thank you so much Kits! I love it!! Kits knows that I love my piano! He was one of my first subscriptions on YouTube after the prominent tubers I was subscribed to. Also, him and Yun (yunfengfu) were also some of my first few subscribers. How cool! I was planning on making a video showcasing all the wonderful things people were making for me, but I decided I would show them on my written blog instead. =)

My YouTube buddies are always so supportive, I love you guys seriously! Oh and HI, Johnee, Russell, and Martin, Love you guys!

Thanks for being patient, I'm really busy with college, church, and other activities, and I'm trying to catch up with everything.

I lava you all, God Bless,

Natalie

WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL...

2008-03-12T21:54:00.000-10:00

...I remember waking up every morning to the sound of Kenny G and his Sax. On occasion, I would go downstairs and see old Beatles music videos playing on the TV. It was "Yellow Submarine" and I could remember it so vividly.

Then, when I wasn't practicing piano, my dad would sit and play "Hey Jude" all dramatically, and I would just watch.

My dad made a big influence on my taste in music. Hearing that music now, brings back old memories. Memories of when music was first introduced to me.

Back in the day, I loved Ace of Base, No Mercy, Spice Girls, Jewel, and Boys II Men. There were more I think, but those are the most significant. I listened to their CASSETTES all the time. In the car, in my cassette player, ALL THE TIME.

Then, my brother gave me something called a CD, and it was Celine Dion, The Colour of My Love 1993 Album. I was blown away.

He also gave me Green Day and Smashing Pumpkins CDs. I got into that too. WOW.

One day, after I got off the bus to my house, I walked inside and saw five guys dancing in the rain on the TV. It was the Backstreet Boys. NOW, I was in love. Soon after came NSYNC, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and then came my obsession with Total Request Live on MTV, back when Carson Daly was VJ. It was a daily ritual to watch it. (I would catch the #1 video once I arrived home, and I would watch the rerun at 8 pm)

It all started in Elementary School. Now I'm getting older and I listen to pretty much everything. Music was my life. Well, still IS my life.

- a narrative of when music firstcame into my world

Love and Peace,

Natalie

A new LOVE? I think so.

2008-03-09T21:26:00.000-10:00

Musically inclined??! From piano, to violin, and ukulele...

I've finally started to teach myself guitar. I've always, ALWAYS, always wanted to play the guitar. But, for some reason I ended up taking more of a classical route with my piano and violin playing.

I didn't know what I was getting into, guys. It's not like the ukulele! The first weeks were painful as hell. It has only a month since I've started, but I am extremely happy that the pain is subsiding, and I'm really getting the hang of it...I think. Of course, I need to give a big thank you to all the musicians that I watch on YouTube, like Yun, [who I mentioned in my blog about piano] (yunfengfu), Chris (ccendana), Dustin (tsud123), Jeremy (passionsf), Seeso (seeso), WHY ONLY GUYS?! Ok, Olivia (oliviathai), Jennifer (JenniferJChung), Julia (jaaaaaaa) so many more! They are all such an inspiration.

Well, I know I'm slow with the video updates, and it's because I'm really determined to finish learning something(s) on the piano and guitar. I'm one of those people that start something, but never finish. So this time, I WANT TO FINISH. The one thing that is slowing me down from finishing, is that I'm trying to learn multiple songs. (I GET BORED/TIRED/DISTRACTED REALLY EASILY.)

Thank you Gen (genebeee) for letting me borrow your guitars! I lava you!

I'll make a video as soon as I find the time, and as soon as I feel I've practiced enough. =)

Much LAVA,

Nat

Mike is a WHALE PENIS.

2008-02-29T22:07:00.000-10:00

Whale penis = Dork.

Mike (Vx5T0N3) and I were vid chatting one random night. I was using my very old webcam. It's like 8 years old!!! But, it's still good. I think it was the most hilarious conversation ever, and it got even better because he has lots of effects on his mac and yeah. Then James (Jarishz)IMed me and me and Mike were chatting with him for an hour or so. It was 1:00 Hawaii time! But around 7 in the Philippines, so James wasn't really as tired as we were.

Yeah, so. What's new in my life? College is overwhelming. I'm catching up because I fell behind. (DAMNIT YOUTUBE) But, things are swell! I think.

Chat with Mike and James:

James: its like youre the 2nd & 3rd person to know it
Mike: i wanna be second. nat you're third.
ME: i'm the 2nd person. you're the 3rd
Mike: NO I AM! i called it alreadyy. TOO BAD!!!
ME: yay! i'm 2nd!!!
Mike: NO I'M 2ND!
James: hahahahaha....ROFL

MUCHO LAVA,

Natalie

OMG YOU KNOW NATZTHEFLIP?!

2008-02-20T18:36:00.000-10:00

I know I said YouTube wasn't always about the subs, but it's nice to get appreciation from complete strangers that watch my videos.

niqanne007: hahaha my friend at school saw our valentine video and she wouldn't shut up at school..
niqanne007: OMG OMG U KNOW NATZTHEFLIP?!
niqanne007: apparently she knew you as a big youtuber before i even knew u
natztheflip: lol you're kidding?!?!
niqanne007: nuts hey?
niqanne007: noooo
niqanne007 : just today she came up to me and omg-ed my face this morning

Something like that, makes me really happy. I mean, I perceive myself as a nobody on YouTube right now. No one really knows me! But it's so nice to know that people around the world actually think highly of me, and actually watch my videos.

The comments, the messages, I appreciate them so much. A subscription is a subscription but the comments are very meaningful to me. Sometimes people subscribe and not watch someone's videos at all, because all you do is click a button. But comments require some conscious thought and some fingerwork, which makes them extra special (on the understanding that these comments relate to the video.)

But I'm just a girl that makes videos, thats it! (thewinekone said that before in one of his videos, but he didn't say "girl" of course) So for people to think so highly of me is really cute. I appreciate you all so much!!!

My collaboration with Nicole (niqanne) was very fun. She read the comments on our video and she brought them up when we chatted on AIM. FREAKING HILARIOUS. Apparently some of my subscribers think she is creepy.

AutumnChorus
ahahahah funny vid! but your friend nicole is kinda scary @__@

YouTube buddies are fun,

Natztheflip

I love making people laugh. That's why I'm here.

2008-02-19T21:03:00.000-10:00

Ok so. As of today, February 19 2008, I have 350 + subscribers.
I think that's awesome, I'll give you that. I love making people laugh. It's my calling. or... yeah.

But let me tell you something. I don't think YouTube
should be about the subscribers. That should only be a small portion of it. It's about community. It's about displaying your talent and creativity for others to see. It shouldn't be a race or a competition for the MOST subscribers! It shouldn't be. It's NOT.

Also, people that do that whole SUB FOR SUB? thing are fake. They don't understand the meaning of subscribing. It irritates me. AHHHHHH.

AND, it really shouldn't be about pleasing your viewers ALL THE TIME. I was chatting with Johnee (Johneepixels7) and we were talking about how our videos should be about whatever we want them to be about. It's YOUR CHANNEL. DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. You want to make a video of you cuddling with your girlfriend, do it! You want to make a 9minute video talking about nonsense, do it! If it makes you happy, do it! DO IT!

If there is one thing I enjoy on YouTube, it's vloggers. They don't spend too much time with creative graphics and such, they just speak and speak and speak, and that's enough creativity and talent for me. They are real.

If there is another thing that I enjoy about YouTube, it's musicians. If they want to get somewhere with their talent, and I fully support them. They do what they want to do, sing what they want to sing, and I appreciate them. They are real.

I, Natalie, want to be real with you guys.

Let me share with you something else, the way I present myself on camera, is not completely who I am in real life. I'm not saying I'm a fake-o. Think of it as the iceberg analogy, "You can only see the tip of the iceberg, and down below the water line is something much greater."

I don't know, if I do unedited vlogs, then that's probably who I am in real life. Lots of dead time, going off subject, and distractions from family members. BLAH. I'm here on YouTube to display the type of humor that makes me happy. The humor that makes my stomach hurt. The humor that I come across randomly. I'm here to make you happy, but I'm also here to keep myself happy because SCHOOOOL SUCKS and I love this site. New type of social networking??? Kinda.

I'm still a noob at this YouTube stuff. Stick with me for the entire year, and you'll probably learn more about me, and finally see me. The real me.

I lava you all,

Natztheflip

"Isn't Brenda Song from Disney Channel?" - Mike

2008-02-19T20:26:00.000-10:00

YouTube is fun. Graphic design and film production have always been a huge passion of mine. It's a great hobby. I'm going in a completely opposite direction career wise, so this lets me do what I want to do.

Why did I start making videos for YouTube? Well back in August 2007, I saw HappySlip on TFC (The Filipino Channel) and they were talking about her popularity on YouTube. I decided to
check out her videos and they were quite entertaining.

One day, I was chillen at Yvette's house with her and Mike, and Mike started a conversation about "Emerson" and the conversation was very serious at first, but then it turned into a hilarious and inspiring conversation. I then made a video about it.

It was my first video for YouTube. (It is now on private, it was controversial topic.)

I played all the parts (I played Yvette, Mike, and myself) so I was doing a HappySlip thing because I played all the roles. The picture is a still image of me from the video playing Mike. (see the lip ring?)

and soon after that, I just started watching more videos, discovering more prominent and less prominent tubers, and then BOOOM. Addicted.

I had 3 subscribers at the time. Yvette, Kealii, and some random person.

My Pokemon

2008-02-19T18:04:00.000-10:00

Yeah, If you don't already know. My pokemon have died.

I'm not that broken up about it anymore, but at first, it was unbelievably hard to handle! It was definitely weird knowing that my entire game was gone, but I don't know why I reacted like that. Weird. Hahah.

Typhlosion, I love you and miss you.

Top 10 SEXIEST voices on YouTube

2007-11-18T09:34:00.000-10:00

I'm posting this blog, before I post the video, so if you're reading this early, you're lucky.

TOP 10 SEXIEST VOICES on YouTube

According to ME. The following Tubers are some of my favorite and they all have SEXY voices! Well, at least I think so. When I say voices, I mean SPEAKING voices. Hahah!

10. VlogBrothers
9. sxephil
8. kevjumba
7. YTwatchdog - HAHAHAH! Just kidding.
6. nerimon
5. WHATTHEBUCKSHOW - YUP.
4. riverbasil
3. thewinekone
2. BoBurnham
1. gotitans999 - the piano tutorial guy! DAMN! Hahaha.

UPDATE: I planned on making a video about this, but I decided not to. Do you think I have good taste in voices? I like low, manly voices. Very sexy. and funny. Voices that make me laugh? BIG PLUS.

The Piano

2007-11-17T18:54:00.000-10:00

I started playing piano again very recently after a FOUR YEAR hiatus. Can you believe that? The thing is, I never enjoyed playing the piano.

My mother basically forced me into taking lessons in 95' when I was 6, and I just couldn't develop a passion for it. I never liked practicing and I just couldn't read the notes well. I could keep a rhythm but I had always trouble reading notes. So, after 7 years of lessons with 4 different teachers, I told my mom that I wanted to quit. I told her that High School was stressing me out and I didn't want to deal with anymore extracurricular activities because I was already involved with Student Council.

I HAVE BEEN FLOODED with extracurricular activities my entire life. From baton, tennis, ice skating, ballet (SHUT UP), to piano.

It really shows why I spread myself too thin, even to this day.

Anyway, a friend of mine, who doesn't own a very high tech piano (I think he owns a keyboard) starting coming to my house regularly, and I noticed he always played on my piano when he came. (Atleast someone was putting it to use) I always told him that I disliked piano and that I just didn't have the passion for it. He introduced me to a very talented pianist, Yiruma. I was blown away.

THEN out of nowhere, I started getting into YouTube, and I started watching pianists and I grew fascinated by their amazing abilities and I thought to myself, "Maybe I should try this again." I printed out sheet music "River Flows in You by Yiruma" and I learned the song within 3 days. I was extremely proud.

After posting my piano videos, I got some response. One person in particular was Yun (yunfengfu) and he gave me some really nice comments, and even featured my video on his page! He was also one of my first few subscribers. Thank you Yun!!!

Should Natalie cut her Hair?
	Yes, change is good!
	No, I love your hair!
	Maybe later?
	Just do it.
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